The past couple weeks I've been avoiding this place. I had a great run in the canyon a few weeks ago with friends but since then, running has sucked. I really can't narrow down why. I don't know if it's because I'm just tired and overworked or maybe I'm not getting enough nutrition but I have had a few terrible runs lately and an even worse attitude towards running.
A couple Saturdays ago I completely skipped my long run. Just because, and I've never done that before but I really didn't care to wake up at the crack of dawn, especially on a Saturday to do something I had absolutely no motivation for.
This past weekend I ran the Timp Half Marathon and let's just say I had a very different experience from last year. I started too fast and by mile 9 I was struggling to hold my pace. I knew I started too fast within the first few yards but I usually finish a race thinking I started too slow so I just went for it. However, never in a half marathon have I had to STOP running because of exhaustion. By mile 10 I was walking/running and then mile 11 hit me with some nasty sciatic pain that caused me to come to a complete halt. I could not move without a stabbing pain in my lower back. I took a moment to stretch it out and was able to walk again and then run soon after to finish. I felt like I barely finished though and had a somewhat disappointing time of 1:56. ugh. At that point, I was really wishing Eric would have been at the finish line to cheer me up instead of on a scouting campout. Darn.
I really thought I could have done it in under 1:50 but I also think I have been setting unrealistic goal times which only leads to disappointment when I don't meet those goals.
I do this in my training runs too, which is another factor as to why I hate running these days. Lately, I am not able to complete training goals due to exhaustion which makes me feel like a wimp.
It's always hard to remember, but at this point in my running "career" I can only compete with myself. Trying to compete with other runners is only going to upset me when I don't beat them or run more mileage than them. I shouldn't grab my self confidence from the fact that I can run faster or run farther than another runner. Focusing on the mental and physical benefits of running and the personal goals I can accomplish is what is going to keep my relationship with running going strong.